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At the age of 24, he has already won two Premier Leagues,

a Champions League, an Intercontinental Cup and a

plethora of trophies that are ‘minor’ only for those who do

not win them.

Numbers, however, are not enough to explain the scope a relentless penalty area killer. With time, one has been able
of a phenomenon that represents, in fact, the last – and who to discover what the secrets are – apart from the endowment
knows if definitive – link in the evolutionary chain of bombers. he received as a gift from Madrenatura – of this strength
Long gone are the days of the giraffe-strikers, placed in the and speed: 6,000 calories consumed daily (pasta, chicken,
centre of the area with the sole purpose of intercepting balls fish, beef heart and liver, vegetables, fruit); zero alcohol and
in flight over the airspace in front of the opponent’s goal, and sugary drinks (only microfiltered water is served on his table);
the days of the ferret-strikers, ideal for slipping through the coloured lenses to filter the blue light of electronic devices, rest
undergrowth of the densest rearguards, Haaland combines his eyes and sleep better; meditation, to exorcise daily stress;
the best of both species, thanks to a chassis that seems – and and finally biohacking, i.e. a real self-hacking of the body
in part is – studied in the laboratory. “He is as strong as a bear in order to harmonize his biological parameters with his
and as fast as a horse,” his compatriot journalist Øyvind Godø surroundings and professional needs.
wrote of him in one of Haaland’s first interviews when he Thus was born the attacker of the future. Stuff, indeed, of
played for Norway and his name had not yet made headlines as cyborgs. Or superhero stuff.

Protagonist Sport 65