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PROTAGONIST / HIGH FIDELITY

F orgive me if I begin with the best-known
dog of all, Argo, who waited for Ulysses for 20
years and, when he saw him dressed as a tramp,
“wagged his tail and flattened his ears” but, as full
of ticks as he was, did not dare approach him. On
seeing the state of his dog, Ulysses was moved to tears, the

only tears he shed in the whole Odyssey. After which Argo,

not “a dog for banquets, of the kind that masters only rear

for ostentation, but a fast-running dog unbeatable in hunt-

ing, was seized by ‘the Fate of black death’.” I can think of

no better example for illustrating the loyalty of dog to man.

The verses of Homer’s poem dedicated to Argos also touch

on another theme, namely the relationship that power and

different civilisations have with dogs. Ethologists such as

Konrad Lorenz have already poured forth on the subject,

and I have no desire to find fault with literature and cine-

ma, which positively teem with novels, tales and films fea- there is another Italian ex premier and tycoon Silvio Berlus-

turing dogs of every imaginable kind. From Aesop to Jack coni, with his four-legged friend Dudù. In this case though

London, Jerome K. Jerome, Thomas Mann, White Fang and the dog belongs to his girlfriend. They are shared owners

Hachiko; I mean real dogs, not little dogs like those irritat- (perhaps unwillingly), and he said yes to it in a moment of

ing pugs carried by their vacuous owners in their handbags senile weakness, or perhaps for electoral purposes, in an ex-

when they go out shopping, or Queen Elizabeth’s corgis, or treme attempt to win the votes of Italy’s animal protection so-

the tireless Jack Russell. ciety. Do you want to bet that the indifference of Italy’s pow-

Dogs are man’s best friend. And little dogs are wom- er brokers, if not outright dislike, for our four-legged friends
en’s best friend. Who says gender doesn’t exist an-
ymore? It certainly does, as much as Italian comic actually conceals a mixture of Islam and Catholicism? Mus-
lims think we are all kuffar, disloyal dogs. And whilst Pope
Francis is inspired by the saint who tamed the wolf of Gubbio

strip character Dylan Dog is male, and Cat- and spoke to the birds, he has also warned

woman is female. If I do not write about } Angela Merkel us not to overdo our love for animals. In
dogs in history, in science and in the sev- a long interview with Argentine newspa-

en arts, what on earth am I going to talk does not like dogs and per La voz del Pueblo, the Pope placed

about? About current affairs, starting with doesn’t have any. pets in fifth place of his league table of the
the people in power. Obama’s is called Bo, She is terrified of them world’s greatest evils. “Care for pets,” Pope
whilst Hollande’s Labrador is called Philae, Bergoglio said, “is like programmed love:

and Putin’s black Labrador was called Con- I can programme the loving response of a

nie. Cameron doesn’t have any dogs but he once said he dog or cat, and I do not need the response of a human, re-

would line them up at Dover with barbed wire to stop mi- ciprocal love. I’m exaggerating, don’t take every word I say

grants getting in, resulting in somebody renaming the British literally, but it is something to be concerned about.” Fourth

premier Dovermann. Angela Merkel does not like dogs and place went to cosmetics. By combining danger number five

doesn’t have any, because she is a woman, which just goes to with four, we can deduce that perfuming our dogs, paint-

prove my point. In actual fact, she is terrified of them. Know- ing their nails and taking them to the hairdresser to have

ing this full well, Putin let his large hound into the room their fur dyed and permed is a perversion. In this respect

where he was entertaining the German chancellor at Socˇhi. we should view the work of John Walter, a Baltimore artist

In Greece they have a particular breed of dog, the riot dogs, who had the brainchild of painting dog-icon Lassie with his

which can be seen in all the photos standing their ground face disfigured by plastic surgery, as a piece of disturbing

alongside demonstrators. In Italy, television presenter Dar- hyperrealism. Civilised dog owners treat their dogs like loy-

ia Bignardi handed a white Maltese dog called Trozzy, later al friends and pay their dutiful funereal respects to them,

renamed Empy, over to premier Mario Monti. He made the as does Alain Delon, who has buried no less than 35 around

best of a bad-taste gesture, because 2013 was an electioneer- his stately countryside residence in magnificent tombs, all

ing year. But the white fur does not look good on the sena- lined up one after the other. We don’t want any mummify-

tor’s traditional Loden coat, whether it’s green or blue. Then ing though, or veneration, much less after-death worship.

Top of page, Winston Churchill with his poodle Rufus II in 1950 at Chartwell, in Kent, UK. Opposite page, 55 years later: GETTY IMAGES
it is 18 August 2005 and Russian President Vladimir Putin is portrayed with his labrador Connie,
as he welcomes King Abdullah ll of Jordan in his summer residence at Bocˇarov Rucˇej, elegant resort on the Black Sea.

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